You made me cry and you don't even care
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
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