I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
We just shotgunned beers for America
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
