Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Randomize
