I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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