Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Can I color on your dick again?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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