If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I will be naked everywhere
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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