dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
