obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Randomize
