My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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