Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
