I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
