two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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