you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
