Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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