It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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