My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
time to smoke my breakfast
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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