I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Randomize
