drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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