Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
