i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
