its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
