This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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