I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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