i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
