Whoa Z and x make the same sound
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
