I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
