you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
