hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
