i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
