DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
