Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Just fell off a train. Bad.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize