well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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