She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
