this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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