Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
