She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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