My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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