Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
