Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Randomize
