i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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