i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
