If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
