my phone needs a breathalizer
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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