..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
