I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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