i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
