put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize