Having a random hookup so left but love u
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
