standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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