I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
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