Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
