my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Randomize
