Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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