Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
