You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Randomize
