I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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